Tuesday, November 13, 2007

My cat, every goddamn night.

Aw, yeah. The Warm Lady is finally getting into bed! Time for me to leave my pillow-side spot and skedaddle over to the food area.

So crunchy. Even with only one fang I enjoy the crunchy food. Wait, is that The Other? I so fear/adore/hate her. Maybe just a cold stare and a subtle ear-slant to remind her what's what. For now.

A good post-nap piss is always welcome. Gotta scratch the wall outside the litter box after. It just feels right.

Time to do my exercise! Tonight I'm feeling extra frisky, so I'll include the actual top of the bed in my route. I run flat-out from the windows near the street, over the rug, under the chairs, past the food, down the long slippery hall (luckily my extended claws give me a little traction and a little sonic pizazz! Scritchety-scratchety!) through the doorway, jump onto the bed, and run over the Large Ones. Tiny pause; then: Back! And forth! And all the way back and forth again! Fast fast fast!

Oh, shit. Is that Other One trying to ENTER THE BEDROOM? She'll never learn. Cat's gonna make me flex. I'll just hide over here...wait for it... BAT BAT BAT! Feel the sting of my paw! You wanna scream about it? Go ahead. Yowl and scream all you want. Music to my ears.

Hey, suddenly the Large Ones' kittens are yelling. What the hell happened? Stupid fur-pullers. Though the larval one has a nice nap-spot under his cage-bed. I'll just slip in when the Warm Lady's done putting him to sleep again.

(30 minutes later) And, done. Time to join the sleep-party on the big bed. What the -? The door is shut! Hey! HEY! HEY! HEY!

Don't be like that, Warm Mama. Just get back into bed, and put your arm in that certain spot. Yes. Leave me room next to your head. Purr. I might get up, jump down, and come back a few minutes later, a couple of times, but you just try to sleep. It's all good. I'm still all soft and purr-y, right? Yes. Purr. OK. Good night.

8 comments:

blu said...

Zucking Zantastic!!

Dead on...

Only cat lovers/owners/haters can appreciate this...

Magpie said...

Omg, hilarious!!!

Lisa C. said...

Haw!

the new girl said...

Don't be like that, Warm Mama.

Priceless.

Linsey said...

good god, my cat is not the only one!

Jenn said...

So funny!! Actually had me laughing out loud!

snerg said...

This made me laugh right out loud. My cat used to like to eat in the middle of the night, too. CRONCH CRONCH CRONCH! Too damn funny.

In The Moment said...

re: YOUR TWITTER. nAPOLEAN dYNAMITE ROCKS. Ooops caps, sorry.