Friday, November 9, 2007

I'm a patron, not a patronizer! For real!

Re: Losing True's comment on embarrassing her (adolescent) children with public singing: The thing is, my 3-going-on-13-year old is ALREADY embarrassed by me singing in public. If I start -- even if I'm only singing along to a song SHE HERSELF IS SINGING -- she says, "No, no, Mommy! Stop that! I don't like that!" And if I continue, just 'cause I'm feeling like I want to sing and maybe annoy my daughter a little in the process, she will Flip. Out. "No no no no NO! Mommy STOP singing stop singing!"

I thought I would have more time before my daughter got so easily annoyed with me. But NO. Turns out 3 is it. At least it's annoyance and not embarrassment. I hope she avoids the emotion of embarrassment for as long as possible.

Tallulah's new thing is to yell "Don't be PROUD of me!" Which joins "Don't LOOK at me!" and "Don't TOUCH me!" as the three things she most likes to yell at top volume while we walk down the street. (That last one is a real attention-getter. Thanks, kid!) I think she's perceiving a patronizing tone from me and her dad, as that's something I was also very sensitive to as a child. In fact, I was so sensitive to it so early on that I remember promising myself that once I was grown-up and a parent that I would NEVER treat children like that. That I'd never (to give a totally hypothetical example) make my child repeat her mis-pronunciations of certain common words* for the amusement of my adult friends. That I'd NEVER smile and chuckle fondly when my child made some adorable mistake or another. But I now find myself doing this ALL THE TIME. I didn't know that once I had children of my own they would be SO WONDERFUL and their mistakes so heartbreaking yet lovable and so indicative of an underlying brilliance and spark that it makes me bubble with love for them. But I will try to hide my smiles the best I can.

* - plaid and relative.

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